Agent Moberg has made delivery of the Jalopy to mission headquarters. 1,551 miles, 7 states, 26.5 hrs in the truck, 14 red bulls, 6 tanks of gas, and one official warning from a PA State Trooper later
What I learned along the way:
1. I-81 through VA is one long speed trap
2. Red Bull does not give you wings (just the jitters and heart burn)
3. Camry's, Trailblazers, and anything made by Buick do not come standard with a rear view mirror
4. Upper Marlboro, MD is populated with some really cool people, but its roads will completely mind F**k your GPS
GPS: "When possible make a legal U-turn"
Me: "I'm on the F**king Interstate
GPS: (starts smoking) I do not compute
5. Kish will track anything equipped with a Roundel
6. Road crews in this country can not make a smooth concrete road
7. Rumble strips will indeed wake you up
8. Baltimore is a sh*t hole!!
9. I feel safer at 10/10ths on the race track then I do on the Eisenhower Interstate system!!!
10. Motorcycle cops should be taken seriously no matter how ridiculous they look
11. Issuing an official warning makes as much sense as a monkey F**king a football
12. Team BF.c is going to take over at lemons South Fall
What happened elsewhere during my mission
1. 68,429 people got a new puppy
2. 6,841 people broke their pinky toe
3. 1,256,760 babies were made
4. 32,211 people received a bad haircut
5. 20 on 20 played Lady Gaga 763 times and it still sucks
That is all for now
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